they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
