let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize