My brain says no but my pants say off.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
