What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
