I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
