Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
