Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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