it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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