You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
