everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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