i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
