Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
