Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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