i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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