Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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