we have officially lost it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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