It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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