The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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