We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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