Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
