Jerry, you need to find god
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
