i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
