I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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