oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize