why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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