He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
