sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
