You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
