I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
