lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
