I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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