all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
