well you can't waste a boner
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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