im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
