Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
