Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
