you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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