he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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