ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
