why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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