i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
