that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
