i already hear my dad disowning me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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