I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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