sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
