I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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