Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
