No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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