ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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