How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
