Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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