Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize