yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
