This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
