the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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