You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
