I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
we're so committed to being not committed
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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