I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
