He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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