i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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