i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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