Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
