your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i think i just lost a toe
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
